


Overbaked

by holdouttrout



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-04
Updated: 2010-03-04
Packaged: 2017-10-21 17:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdouttrout/pseuds/holdouttrout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short ficlet from the prompt "gingerbread man porn." There is, in fact, no actual porn here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overbaked

If SG-1 had known about the strange chemistry of the flour from P44-444, they never would have used it to create gingerbread men--at least, not while the telchak device was in the same room. The combination had proved dangerous; as soon as the gingerbread men had baked, they had become animated, and...

"Run, run, as fast as you can; you can't hide from me, I'm the gingerbread man!"

Amorous.

The hastily barricaded door held against a tremendous thunk.

"Jackson!" Cam yelled.

"I'm looking, I'm looking!" came the hurried reply. Daniel was flipping frantically through his notebook, looking for clues as to why this had happened, and how to reverse the process.

It hadn't seemed to matter that the telchak device hadn't even been turned on, and nothing could seem to slow the men down. Decapitation just left them looking still more obscene, their little gingerbread bodies writhing across the floor while their heads called out all kinds of horrid suggestions.

They'd retreated strategically to one of the bedrooms, Daniel flipping through his notebook, and throwing everything against the door he could possibly find.

"They're making more of them," Sam said, peering through the keyhole.

"What? How?" Cam asked.

Sam blanched. "You don't want to know."

Vala took a quick peak. "Oh, ugh." She stood up, grabbed the notebook out of Daniel's hands, and tossed it into the far corner. "It's time for more drastic measures," she said.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "We have a most formidable foe," he said.

Cam snapped his fingers. "I've got it. What's the first rule of baking cookies?"

The rest of them looked blank.

Cam rolled his eyes. "Don't _overbake_."

That's when they brought out the flamethrower


End file.
